https://dear-diaries.blog/2026/08/19/what-i-found-men-and-women-who-compared-me-to-hotter-younger-models-non-stop-they-thought-it-was-funny-to-pretend-she-whomever-he-or-she-was-paying-and-promoting-at-the-time-was-so-much-prettier/Dear diary + Helpen2026-08-19T22:04:24+00:00What I found: Men and women who compared me to hotter younger models non stop. They thought it was funny to pretend she (whomever he or she was paying and promoting at the time) was so much prettier, smarter, blah, blah, blah, than I was. Many women supported their pyramid schemes and found that humor appealing. I know it says more about their character than mine, but whatever. I really thought, I truly believed, the world was not so superficial and fake. But I have to admit..it truly is that superficial/artificial in most cases. No wonder when I first had to meditate at the Hope House I saw a cartoon looking tree. Nothing was real. Nothing natural. And the times I felt a hint of connection you took away those people before any meaningful bond could occur. That is why I am pissed. I wanted real. I never got it.https://dear-diaries.blog/2026/08/19/me-left-my-marriage-because-i-believed-i-could-find-true-love-i-mistakenly-thought-at-the-time-i-could-find-a-man-i-could-love-and-who-would-love-me-for-the-right-reasons-my-ex-told-me-he-loved-me/Dear diary + Helpen2026-08-19T21:53:35+00:00Me: Left my marriage because I believed I could find true love. I mistakenly thought at the time I could find a man I could love and who would love me for the right reasons. My ex told me he loved me but I never felt it because it didn’t seem like he liked me (repeating old patterns I guess).https://dear-diaries.blog/2026/08/19/so-when-you-say-this-land-is-your-land-this-land-is-my-land-you-are-lying/Dear diary + Helpen2026-08-19T20:35:46+00:00so when you say this land is your land, this land is my land…you are lying.https://dear-diaries.blog/2026/08/19/i-know-i-am-going-to-always-be-alone-as-a-result-of-the-abuse-i-endured-i-also-know-that-you-must-have-threatened-randy-he-is-not-allowed-to-talk-to-me/Dear diary + Helpen2026-08-19T20:34:42+00:00I know I am going to always be alone as a result of the abuse I endured. I also know that you must have threatened Randy. He is not allowed to talk to me.https://dear-diaries.blog/2026/08/19/maybe-i-shouldnt-have-given-him-my-phones-maybe-he-deleted-data-i-dont-trust-anyone-anymore-they-all-are-pretending-to-be-someone-else/Dear diary + Helpen2026-08-19T20:24:04+00:00maybe I shouldn’t have given him my phones. Maybe he deleted data. ? I don’t trust anyone anymore. They all are pretending to be someone else.https://dear-diaries.blog/2026/08/19/when-they-were-little-and-i-held-them-close-i-really-believed-i-could-protect-them-how-wrong-i-was-they-taught-me-about-unconditional-love-i-had-never-really-felt-it-before-my-babies-will-probably/Dear diary + Helpen2026-08-19T19:35:21+00:00When they were little and I held them close I really believed I could protect them. How wrong I was. They taught me about unconditional love. I had never really felt it before. My babies will probably not have babies. Does that mean the experiment ends?https://dear-diaries.blog/2026/08/19/trying-to-calm-my-mind-down-to-sleepdont-know-if-i-can-tired-and-sad-about-all-of-the-depravity-in-the-world-sick-of-people-who-feel-absolutely-justified-in-their-conviction-that-a/Dear diary + Helpen2026-08-19T18:55:42+00:00Trying to calm my mind down to sleep…don’t know if I can. Tired and sad about all of the depravity in the world. Sick of people who feel absolutely justified in their conviction that abuse of others is ok. Wondering about the games that were played with me and my son the past year(s). There is no escape and no safe space.https://dear-diaries.blog/2026/08/18/when-i-watch-certain-tv-shows-or-movies-i-think-i-am-nothing-more-than-a-factory-farm-animal-sometimes-it-feels-like-the-whole-world-cares-they-just-cant-or-wont-do-anything-to-help-other-times/Dear diary + Helpen2026-08-18T22:53:33+00:00When I watch certain tv shows or movies I think I am nothing more than a factory farm animal. Sometimes it feels like the whole world cares..they just can’t or won’t do anything to help. Other times it feels like no one cares. Because if they did they would speak directly to me instead of explaining everything through their art. Very isolating. Always alone.