https://dear-diaries.blog/2026/10/18/numb-usually-means-i-am-going-to-cry-later/Dear diary + Helpen2026-10-18T21:41:19+00:00Numb usually means I am going to cry later.https://dear-diaries.blog/2026/10/18/some-days-my-children-think-i-was-delusional-psychotic-when-i-was-just-trying-to-protect-them-it-has-affected-every-part-of-their-lives-and-no-one-was-held-responsible-today-my-kids-thought-th/Dear diary + Helpen2026-10-18T21:32:03+00:00Some days: my children think I was delusional/psychotic when I was just trying to protect them!!!!! It has affected every part of their lives and no one was held responsible. Today: My kids thought/think I was delusional and psychotic. It has affected every part of their lives…This is what numb feels like. What else can I do but accept the situation? I can’t change it. Nothing really changes in real life anyway…only in movies are people held accountable.https://dear-diaries.blog/2026/10/18/there-are-certain-actors-whose-voices-still-make-me-smile-not-in-the-horror-flick-way-just-in-a-way-that-makes-me-feel-more-human-i-dont-know-what-would-have-happened-to-me-if-i-hadn/Dear diary + Helpen2026-10-18T20:03:30+00:00There are certain actors whose voices still make me smile. Not in the horror flick way. Just in a way that makes me feel more human. I don’t know what would have happened to me if I hadn’t experienced both their humor and kindness.https://dear-diaries.blog/2026/10/18/some-people-are-upset-i-dont-understand-why-the-people-closest-to-me-left-or-died-i-didnt-leave-themthe-people-no-longer-herethey-left-me-they-died-it-is-not-l/Dear diary + Helpen2026-10-18T12:22:19+00:00Some people are upset. I don’t understand why. The people closest to me left or died. I didn’t leave them…the people no longer here…they left me. They died. It is not like any of this is real anymore so why are others upset?https://dear-diaries.blog/2026/10/17/miles-to-go-before-i-sleep/Dear diary + Helpen2026-10-17T22:25:53+00:00& miles to go before I sleep…https://dear-diaries.blog/2026/10/17/the-truth-is-i-dont-know-who-anyone-is-or-was-and-ill-never-figure-it-out-through-watching-movies-or-playing-charades-the-only-way-i-can-speak-your-language-is-if-you-let-me-talk-to/Dear diary + Helpen2026-10-17T22:07:40+00:00The truth is I don’t know who anyone is or was and I’ll never figure it out through watching movies or playing charades. The only way I can speak your language is if you let me talk to people directly. I know that will never happen so here we are. Every day I will live with the uncertainty. Every day I will pray for peace. At least there is not some massive storm surging through my veins anymore. It is more like a slow trickle of dull rain. Gray. Consistent. The same. Not a lot of colors. Not sure which is worse (the storm or the drip) but at least I am not dying inside anymore. Not dying yet. You say we are all here for a purpose. I used to believe that. I hope you are right.