Dear diary + Help

Learn more

like the song goes…i wanted words but all i heard was nothing..nothing.

At least now I am hearing something back. We are having indirect conversations but at least…
I never had a problem with friends who own 100+ acres of land to live happily ever after on… I have a problem with people who don’t think I deserve to own 1 acre of land…many of the people who feel I don’t deserve it have used my life (data, narrative control,etc)to obtain great wealth for themselves. You know, the whole this land is your land, this land is my land thing. Most of all, being an endangered species, I would like something to leave my children. I don’t want to worry about their survival.
forgot to add…i fight in my dreams but wake up wishing I didn’t have to. I wonder if one day I will not feel the need to fight at all. I can’t remember what not fighting feels like.
part of me wants to hold my tongue when i am angry…the other part says you have a right to your feelings..express yourself..you don’t need to perform anymore.
many make movies about saving others, removing them from sex trafficking rings onscreen, but how many truly help in real life? how many have owners just as evil as the villians they fight against in their movies? sometimes it feels so hopeless and sick. sometimes it feels beyond repair.. like that blink 2x movie with no female empowerment at the end..it feels so empty. i go from one situation to another seeking safety, to escape, only to be abused further by yet another rich prick..
I wish I didn’t let some people touch me…my skin literally crawls thinking about it…the deceivers…the users and abusers…Other men..I miss their warmth. I felt protected even if it didn’t last for very long.
in my dreams/nightmares I am still fighting other people’s demons as well as my own..so I guess I haven’t given up completely.
in the past i had a tendency to see people for who i wanted them to be, not for who they were. now i don’t see anymore, anyone.
Take it from me, just because you have invisible friends does not mean you are crazy. Grateful for my invisible friends.
Playing charades with the world and not understanding the conversation…again. Google search ai definition: unalienable rights meaning

+8Unalienable rights are fundamental, inherent rights given to all individuals by virtue of being human. Because…