Dear diary + Help

• https://youtu.be/akTWPHa2614

• https://youtu.be/R6kH5Tftcns

• https://youtu.be/0uBD9-wtnVU

• Jim just wondering what you were trying to show me in Hawaii. Spaghetti…ettitude..Christmas Eve. You are dead now so I can’t ask you. I am torn between you were trying to protect me vs you were trying to misrepresent me. But I think you were showing me how others who said they loved me were misrepresenting the situation. Hope you are Ok wherever you are. It is sad when you want to reach out to people in real life and they are gone, gone, gone. The only way you can connect is though art which is both a blessing and a curse.

• https://youtu.be/0uBD9-wtnVU

• I have to listen to jokes? about living near the water…how it is $ (for you), but you won’t give my son an entry level job? I also have to listen to jokes about meth labs (Heather Rose) but my son can’t get a real job? I work to survive. The only other alternative for me in your mind was to marry someone who would care for me but never about me. Grateful I can pay my bills (for the most part), but you won’t afford my 25 year old son the same luxury? Are your images of yourselves really THAT important? Do you think you are God? Do you think you will never be held to account for YOUR sins?

• I will ask again..why won’t you help my son? We are the people you placed in the center of your dramas. Do you not understand the toll that takes? Do you not understand because you are so perfect yourselves and your children never make any mistakes? 24/7. Why do you speak of action and yet not take action to help? Is it because you are not allowed to? I honestly do not understand. You always put us in a position to prove ourselves to you. But after all you have done you don’t think you need to prove yourselves to us? You speak of equality but we are not equals in your eyes. We never were to some of you.

• What a mess some people have made of this world…grateful for the people who try to clean up the mess…even when it is not theirs. God sees you. He sees us all and knows your heart.

• sometimes I question if anything in my life was real or if it was all a movie set run by central bankers. I was/am just the prop. My children were/are real. That is what I know. They are controlled and influenced by the world too whether they know it or not. Society naturally looks for a hero. Real heroes. I look for one too but can’t find one. What am I not seeing?

• Don’t think I am going to use the headsets for now.