of all of the things i miss the most, losing the ability to be an active participant in my life has been the most painful…when people are acting around you 24/7 and trying to control your movements to benefit themselves, it feels lonely. free will takes a back seat and i keep wondering if it will ever return..some people don’t want me to be happy because secretly they are so unhappy. some people won’t give up being the victim or hero in their minds because image overrides honesty. i don’t want to be like them but it is hard to be positive when i was told i lived in the usa and that i had certain unalienable rights. not un alien able. Unalienable.