Dear diary + Help

This is going to be a fun morning. I dreamt he tried to buy my silence again. I was just as miserable in the dream as I am now.

I want to leave Utah.

I have no expectations. Almost every part of me has shut down…mentally, physically, sexually, spiritually (although I try to connect in ways people can’t see), socially, etc…but still I reach out. People need people. You have probably put the brakes on this site as well. I don’t have a right to my voice. I don’t have a right to my feelings. You have more of a right to my life than I do in your mind. I still search for people who care. I know Randy is in chains as well. I know there is no future with him. I know some can never talk to me directly, but their voices calm me down…like RR’s voice. Thank you God for people who actually care. They are so rare.

Echo. Echo.