Dear diary + Help

i hope these nightmares stop.. I don’t understand why I have had so many lately. Dream I lived in Utah in a bigger place. My son was with me. He was washing an rv that he was keeping for his dad outside. My mom showed up with a group of people. ..most I didn’t know. I think her friend Louise was there. She wanted to institutionalize me because she found a cassette tape that I had made in my 20’s. I started screaming at her and at one of my sisters she sent in to talk to me. I said What is this about? Why are you all here? I said I made that tape after doing EMDR (holding the rabbit ears up and saying whatever I felt afterwards on the tape…what ElizW did with me. side note: this is really what i had done in the past after doing emdr and hypnosis with Eliz in my 20’s. I tried to do EMDR on.myself and record what I saw and what I felt. *I have mentioned this to a few people in the past…one was a girl I worked with the other day in induct (mgn), someone at the smaller methodist church I used to attend, and other people *). I kept screaming and would not stop in the dream. I said they should have just talked to me. I could have explained. I asked when they were leaving. The place I lived in was big enough for everyone to have a room. I remember thinking I did mot have enough linens for the beds. I told them that I had to work the next 6 days, but that I was not going to leave them alone in my place to look for more data. My dad was mostly silent. I was wondering where I hid my diaries because I did not want them to read them and take me away. Then I woke up and in my half awake half asleep phase saw a clear balloon over my pillow. I do not know what this all means…what these nightmares are about. I wonder if I should stop taking ambien for sleep…really really confusing dreams. I don’t know if these dreams are helping me process feelings I need to express or if they are harming me because I wake up in a horrible mood. Fear of my life becoming a never-ending loop of bad memories…of always trying to figure out a puzzle with way too many missing pieces.