I am not going to CA. I do not have the time or money. Certain actions that needed to have been taken years ago never occurred. I am resentful that once again all eyes are on me, on my actions, rather than on you and yours. I have nothing to prove to you. It is the other way around, but you will never see that. I feel like an animal in a zoo. I miss feeling like this is a natural world. I miss love. This world feels controlled and contrived. I wish it wasn’t. Of course it holds good people in it. That is not debatable.