I wonder if this is going to be my life from now on..watching my death on tv over and over until I actually die. I feel overall I have been a pretty decent human being in this lifetime. I wonder if I was a horrible person in a past life to deserve this fate. I die while everyone around me thrives. No out. No solution. A never ending loop of despair and frustration, but don’t you dare look at the environmental factors that caused this.