at one point in my life i unknowingly lashed out at the wrong people (john stamps, woody). i did it unconsciously..never deliberately..would not hurt others like that. There had been a lot of trauma..my body knew even if my mind didn’t have the words for it. The anger and confusion was placed on the wrong people though..i was easily manipulated at a young age. I drank too much at a young age and had an eating disorder. My unconscious took over and I hurt myself. Growing older, after understanding some of the games that were played, the ego/superego kicked in and I learned how to care about the id. Even if no one else loved her for who she was..I would..despite all of her annoying traits and personality flaws. There were perpetrators, no one in my life was perfect, but they were not the people who hurt me..not the men I named in private. In PRIVATE. I think the confusion started when I was young..the day my sister was born. The days of the w’s and making people compete against each other. I don’t like it when people talk about my body…or about private interactions I had with previous boyfriends. I like to be in control of what I share and don’t share..You would feel the same way if your personal life was invaded on a daily basis. I didn’t know who anyone was and I had no idea they all had agendas..completely separate from what I wanted…which was only to be loved for who I was. I never wanted to be compared to anyone else. The worst feeling in the world is to compare your insides to others outsides.