I don’t know if FL will be better. I don’t know if loriL was supposed to have been brooke and you made me tracy. ? I don’t know if I am walking into another death trap. But the ocean reminds me how strong nature is..how resilient and overpowering..how small i am compared to it. When the spotlight is on you and you can’t exit stage left when you want to…you get this feeling you have to try to control everything…your emotions, reactions, your childrens environments. I can’t let go. You realize you don’t really control anything, but you like to think you have some say in the outcome of your life. Free will and all. Then you go to the ocean and you realize you can’t really control anything. It is beautiful though and you get a sense that maybe, just maybe, some greater force is involved and is working towards yours and the world’s good. Basically the Robert Frost feeling of miles to go before I sleep feeling on a daily basis, but when I am in nature (not a closed forest but an open ocean) it feels like there is an escape. There is an escape route where I am free. When I was a kid in Hawaii I used to stare out into the ocean and believe there was a family waiting for me..I still have that feeling today. Maybe I am a fool and there are just more T Blisses out there…Lions for Lambs…what did it mean? What does it mean? Am I safe anywhere? Will I ever feel my children and I are safe again?
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