What I found: Men and women who compared me to hotter younger models non stop. They thought it was funny to pretend she (whomever he or she was paying and promoting at the time) was so much prettier, smarter, blah, blah, blah, than I was. Many women supported their pyramid schemes and found that humor appealing. I know it says more about their character than mine, but whatever. I really thought, I truly believed, the world was not so superficial and fake. But I have to admit..it truly is that superficial/artificial in most cases. No wonder when I first had to meditate at the Hope House I saw a cartoon looking tree. Nothing was real. Nothing natural. And the times I felt a hint of connection you took away those people before any meaningful bond could occur. That is why I am pissed. I wanted real. I never got it.
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