feel like crying about Jim again. Moved to Utah because I wanted to get away from the bad memories in Texas. Then bad things started happening here. It may have been bearable if good things happened along side of all of the bad, but that never seems to be the case in my life. The sad thing is I know Jim was trying to warn me about certain people but I couldn’t understand what he was saying and why he acted the way he did. It hurts so badly not understanding..playing charades with the world. I still don’t know to this day if he was acting or was imitating someone else for political reasons, if he was being protective, making fun of my past, what? I don’t know and I’ll never know. That is the tough part. And yet I am expected to move forward not understanding the circumstances or the past. How can you expect to have any kind of future when you don’t understand anything about the past? I told him he would die if he didn’t stop drinking. Honestly I didn’t think he would die so soon. I thought there was still time. I don’t understand anything or anyone.
Leave a Reply