Sometimes I wonder if I should have gotten married at all…but then I remember how I was before I met him. A boat at sea with no anchor. Cliff grounded me in many ways. I had to grow up. Life was crazy because I knew something was different about my life, something was off. But I didn’t have the words for the exclusion. I just had the behaviors. Before knowing the secret I took the craziness of the world and turned it on myself. I was extremely self destructive. If I hadn’t met Cliff when I did I may not still be here. I also wouldn’t have experienced the times of pure joy and love with my children. I just wish I knew they were safe. I always feel like I have to protect them from the craziness they are unaware of from the outside. They don’t have the words for it. I do.