The most difficult part of grief is not having the whole (not hole or w hole) story about the past. I have no idea of what happened and who did what. I get little pieces of the puzzle but I can never make the pieces fit. The people competing (I don’t want to compete I just want to live) against me use my blindness and ignorance of their language to their advantage. I would go to therapy to grieve but what would I talk about? To whom shall I complain? I don’t even know what happened and it is not like I am going to find out by watching others art. So how do I grieve? Meditation? Tears? How do I let go when I don’t even know my history..not his story..history. It feels like it has been erased. Maybe that was what my dream was about. Being the center of attention on the world stage but feeling completely invisible at the same time.
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