Nick Shirley said something like the more successful you are the more they come after you. I think that is true. In my case it is the more your words influence others, make people see things in a different way (different from certain propagated narratives), the more they come after you. Thank God I never knew I was being watched in my previous life. I would have risked nothing and had taken no chances. If I allowed myself to view my life through other peoples versions of themselves or propagated narratives I would have never had the opportunity to look back at my life and a few moments with a certain amount of pride and joy. In some cases I trusted the universe would deliver, that all things would work out for His good, and they did. I do not have that kind of hope anymore. I remember what the Hope House devolved into years later. I also know my current employer was there in some way or form. Why do we have to pick up the pieces from other peoples destruction I don’t know. I have many questions for God if I am fortunate enough to make it to heaven..But I do know that I am not your image of me. I do know that I am not your pretend fantasy wife (no offense but thank God!) who does whatever you tell her to. I do know that I make mistakes, but I myself am not a mistake. I do know I will never be good enough for some people. Their egos are too invested in being better than I am. Almost all of their identity is tied into being more intelligent and different than myself and others. Their images will not be shattered..That is not my problem and I am not going to make it my problem. I’ll do the best I can knowing it will never be good enough for them. They have not done the inner work that is necessary to stop targeting others. I am a tiny grain of sand. I am a dead deer on the road who deserved much better. I am not them. I am me and I will continue to be just me. It is both good and bad to only want to be yourself and not walk in anyone elses shoes. For most of my life I did not know how to be true to myself. Hard to stop lying when you are lying to yourself. So now I am free…in a cage..but the cage is not of my own making. Maybe it never was. I just thought it was. I know this now. I don’t want life to be about image. I want it to be about substance. Real not pretend. I don’t believe you anymore.