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My mind: They care? They care. They care?
Don’t understand.
No tary. Re tar ded. No Terry. Terry Moore. O2. Room to breathe. Mor man. E=. One day I will get back to living instead of fighting. I don’t even know what I am fighting for anymore. Basic dignity? Respect? Things I will never have.
Nick Shirley said something like the more successful you are the more they come after you. I think that is true. In my case it is the more your words influence others, make people see things in a different way (different from certain propagated narratives), the more they come after you. Thank God I never knew I was being watched in my previous life. I would have risked nothing and had taken no chances. If I allowed myself to view my life through other peoples versions of themselves or propagated narratives I would have never had the opportunity to look back at my life and a few moments with a certain amount of pride and joy. In some cases I trusted the universe would deliver, that all things would work out for His good, and they did. I do not have that kind of hope anymore. I remember what the Hope House devolved into years later. I also know my current employer was there in some way or form. Why do we have to pick up the pieces from other peoples destruction I don’t know. I have many questions for God if I am fortunate enough to make it to heaven..But I do know that I am not your image of me. I do know that I am not your pretend fantasy wife (no offense but thank God!) who does whatever you tell her to. I do know that I make mistakes, but I myself am not a mistake. I do know I will never be good enough for some people. Their egos are too invested in being better than I am. Almost all of their identity is tied into being more intelligent and different than myself and others. Their images will not be shattered..That is not my problem and I am not going to make it my problem. I’ll do the best I can knowing it will never be good enough for them. They have not done the inner work that is necessary to stop targeting others. I am a tiny grain of sand. I am a dead deer on the road who deserved much better. I am not them. I am me and I will continue to be just me. It is both good and bad to only want to be yourself and not walk in anyone elses shoes. For most of my life I did not know how to be true to myself. Hard to stop lying when you are lying to yourself. So now I am free…in a cage..but the cage is not of my own making. Maybe it never was. I just thought it was. I know this now. I don’t want life to be about image. I want it to be about substance. Real not pretend. I don’t believe you anymore.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-01jhW_Yzhs&list=RD-01jhW_Yzhs&start_radio=1&pp=ygUqbm8gc2hvZXMgbm8gc2hpcnQgbm8gcHJvYmxlbSBrZW5ueSBjaGVzbmV5oAcB
I can’t figure it out…honestly I can’t. Crystals bet the ears. Merging from 15 to 84/89. Twilight. Twins? Mark Taylor? Taylor Sw Vampires…deer friend…agadir..cancer. Leave her there..too dangerous to remove. I cannot figure it out. Any of it…today. Marquee. Was I supposed to be the brother in Something About Mary? Orange headsets. Mary and Gerry Humane Society. Too many unanswered questions. Jim said they killed me I think. Who killed me? Why would they do that? Why do they want to hurt my children? Money? Power? Is that why?
The problem has always been, that the duplicate’s lives were considered much more important than the original’s life.
From my view: those who try to protect are harmed and those who harm are protected.
I LOVE my children so damn much. Thank you GOD for giving them to me. Please protect them.
I truly don’t understand religion at all. I don’t mean this in a derogatory way. From what I am reading and from what I suspected before LDS, the Catholic Church, Maureen, and anonymous programs (Joe) are linked. Joe and Terry (Michelle) in Flagstaff…so much I don’t know because you will never tell me. :( I have to accept not knowing and always being on the outside… never truly understanding. I hope I did the right thing getting this car. I am so confused.