Dear diary + Help

• Is it too much to ask for a workspace where people won’t try to compete with me or hurt me? I already know the answer..it is not economically possible.

• Dreams where they stole everything from you and told the world you were the theif..

• why have home prices gone down so much?

• Listen.

• Newsflash: Playing a lover in a movie is not the same as loving someone IN REAL LIFE. How I miss it.

• the process is the punishment

• In some ways I miss some parts of the olden days…when everything was considered my fault. The roles were more clearly defined. If I was the problem then I could change, and then the problem could be fixed. I thought I had control. Now I realize so many things were not all my fault. But I can’t control the outcome because I can’t control other people, places, and things. I cannot stop people from living in the past because that makes them feel more comfortable. I cannot change much of anything anymore.

• I think most days I have given up hope…hope that life can get better…hope that life can change. There is too much interference…too many controllers because of money interests. Nothing is natural anymore. I thought I had the same rights as my ex-husband. I believed I was free. In 2011 I didn’t know what the right thing was to do. I just knew I had to stop taking the wrong actions over and over again…if I was to survive. I really thought it would be different..I thought life would be different. I thought I would be able to find love and that love would stay. But so many people wear masks and not in a good way. I can no longer trust people. Now I am hearing that it is going to be worse at SL. I hope that is not true.